Allowing Ourselves to be Comforted

The longer I am a parent, the better I believe I understand our Heavenly Father’s relationship with us, his children. The joy and the grief he feels when we make our choices. The pain he feels when we distance ourselves from him. The compassion he feels when we are heartbroken.

Lately—or maybe a bit longer than lately—our 23-month-old has had some crazy tantrums. He is generally a sweet and happy boy (though mischievous and disobedient at times), but sometimes he just…flips out. Particularly after naps. As much as I try to be patient with these outbursts, I tend to get very frustrated when he doesn’t calm down (it was much easier to be a parent before I actually became one!!).

And then there’s this other thing…he often won’t let me comfort him anymore when he falls or hurts himself in other ways. He sometimes doesn’t even let daddy comfort him!

To be honest, my son’s refusal to let us comfort him sometimes feels like a slap in the face. At times, I just want to cry out:

“Why won’t you just let me comfort you already?!?!”

It’s taken me a while to see the irony of this statement. As it turns out, this situation is not unique to me and my son. In fact, it’s a pretty accurate reflection of my relationship with Heavenly Father (or one aspect of our relationship anyway). I’m not really throwing tantrums (or am I?) but I often make it hard for Heavenly Father to comfort me. I hold onto my pain and suffocating insecurities so tightly, my arms aren’t free to wrap around my Father.

I can almost hear Heavenly Father’s words reflecting off my own (but with considerably less agitation):

“Angelica, my sweet but stubborn daughter. Why won’t you just let me comfort you already?”

Or, as He said through Isaiah:

“As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you…” (Isaiah 66:13)

It seems my son and I need to learn the same lesson. We have to allow ourselves to be comforted. We have to choose to hold onto our Parent and let ourselves be held.

Thanks for teaching mommy! Now, let’s have a little chat about those tantrums of yours…


  1. ejvinter says:

    Ja det är mycket man lär genom sina barn. Tack för dina tankar det blev ett fint andligt budskap för oss denna söndagskväll!

  2. Edward Karlsson says:

    Wow, insightful connection there. Our youngest daughter, almost three years old has the same tendency. So I can really relate to this.

    The other night I was upset about something, to the point that I couldn’t sleep… I guess you could say I was stubborn and childish… :) But I have been studying a lot about the atonement lately and have just begun to realize how big and how encompassing it really is, especially I have realized in a new way that the atonement also covers the “comforting” part, and not only the repentance part, since he has taken upon himself ALL of our sufferings. So I decided to test this principle right then and there. I got down on my knees and asked in prayer that He, through the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ, would take my spinning mind and calm it, that Christ would relieve me of these thoughts and carry this burden for me, at least for the night. I went back to bed… and I must have literally fallen asleep right away, because I don’t remember anything other than waking up after a full night of sleep to bring the children to school. The problem that had bothered me was still there, but the pain of it had been eased enormously!

    That strengthened my testimony in Christs atonement even more in precisely the principle that you bring up here. He does comfort us. He is there for us. We only need to accept Him, have His name imprinted in our hearts and ask for His comforting.

    Thanks for sharing your post and going “public”. It’s a brave step to take in this day and age. :)

    • angelicahagman says:

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Edward! Such a beautiful example of how Christ, through His atonement on our behalf, can comfort us (and in your case right away!). Thanks again for sharing!

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